Hiatus: Ended

Life in a Sardine Can, or: Why Gratitude Is The Thing

I want to start by telling you that this is a stream-of-consciousness blog, written and posted from the local library while my thrilling three year-old sings a song-story about a Richard Scarry book he's looking at. My thoughts are as developed as I can get them in this environment. You've been warned.

When getting ready to embark on this relocation adventure to the Sea-Tac area of WA from the wilds of suburban Chaska, MN (Soar, Hawks!), I was told I would accumulate a bunch of blog-fodder with all the adventures and complaints associated with living in a 25' RV with my husband, two lovely and human children, and two awesome but not-small doggies. Mostly, I'm just trying to survive the day and search for a job. But I feel called to do more than complain about flatulence in confined spaces and the utter lack of wardrobe space I am allotted. Those things are real, and somewhat amusing, and what I have learned to get me through my temper tantrums about those inconveniences are that they are TEMPORARY. INCONVENIENCES. And that is a big personal revelation for control-freaky me.

Specifically, the 'Migrant Crisis' (I'm not sure if this is the best title for it, but I've seen it repeated, so it seems to make sense to keep using the common term) is speaking to me, whispering every day: look at those magnificent little people that you're allowed to parent, in this safe, stable, environment, surrounded be convenience and ease and calm and natural beauty. These wonderful little people say ridiculous things, they push my buttons and boundaries constantly, and yet... if I think about the three year-old body washed ashore, how in the world can I be anything but grateful for all of these opportunities afforded me? My heart is both full and broken. I am both powerful and powerless.

Non-sequitur (get used to it): Being unemployed kinda saps some of my personal power. It gives me an undertone feeling of 'not enough,' that I have to shake off every time I see a job opening that looks like something I would qualify for/be interested in/like to do. But what a freaking luxury I have to be at all choosy. When I think about all the people fleeing their homes in search of security, safety, to have their most basic needs met, my inconvenience of not being picked for a job yet seems pretty small. Of course, I have to balance that idea that I am so freaking lucky and that a good job will come to me if I just keep at it against the reality that our savings are finite and we have a house to sell in MN...but again, pretty small potatoes.

So often in drug court (my previous job), we talked about the importance of practicing gratitude. I hope this blog will be just that - a written gratitude practice, for the world or maybe just for myself. And today, I am thankful for my family: my children, my husband, my parents and sisters - to say I miss them is such I giant understatement that, to use a popular term, I can't even, and to my husband's parents. I am a lucky cat to have so many wonderful people in my corner.

So, this is my initial post in what I hope will be a regular storytelling, an ongoing record of my family's adventures, struggles, and life here. I hope to figure out ways that we can make a difference in the lives of others as I continue to discern my calling in this new place.